Paul Gadzikowski

I panicked a few mornings ago.

I got an email from AKOTAS's hosting service reminding me that quarterly hosting charges were due that day and not yet paid. It wasn't anything I didn't already know, but I panicked.

I was also months behind on the ISP account where my original fanfiction site is hosted and my 15-year primary email address is. (The unemployment would have run out eventually and health insurance benefits are a necessity for us, but we were making ends meet better when I was working parttime.)

So I panicked. I'd had a donation button to my PayPal account up at AKOTAS for a week (hoping to cover both AKOTAS and the fanfiction site, to be honest) and had received just short of the AKOTAS hosting charges so far. So I made a small donation myself trying to make up the difference. Then, when I logged in at the host's site, I was reminded that the rate went up $3 a quarter recently; and I realized I was a dollar short. I ended up just clicking on the link requesting fourteen days' grace. (Now, it's all taken care of and the donation button's gone. I actually drafted this journal entry that day, but decided not to post it then because I thought it'd look like I was fishing for donations.)

I actually calmed down almost immediately and realized the world won't come to an end if I lose my websites. I even sometimes think it'd be fun to start my internet presence all over again from scratch. I also sometimes have doubts I'm sustaining sufficient interest in the AKOTAS project to see it through to its planned end with with the attention it deserves. Time will tell (on one of these things or the other).

But, for the record, that's the sort of thing it takes to make me panic.