Grief 1/1; Doctor, Rose, Jackie; G

[scarfman]

Title: Grief 1/1
Author: scarfman
Characters/Pairing: Doctor, Rose, Jackie
Rating: G
Setting/Spoilers: main story, The Christmas Invasion; framing sequence, Last of the Time Lords
Disclaimer: This work is derivative of property of the BBC. No profit shall be made and no market of the owner(s) is infringed upon.
Betareader: qtrhorserider
Summary Inspiration: At the end of Parting of the Ways the Doctor talks awfully like he's never going to see Rose again, for someone who's going to want her to realize that he's the same man when the new face comes. Most of this had been composed for some time before the idea of the framing sequence came to me. I didn't know initially whether it ought to be a framing sequence or a part two of two or what, but it gives the piece an ending whereas previously it just sort of stopped.
crossposted scarfman dwfiction time_and_chips

---

Finally the Doctor turned his back on the pyre and headed toward the TARDIS. With the trauma of the last few hours now largely behind him, he was suddenly aware of the wall of uncomprehension standing between his ship and himself. And that wall was all too familiar - but from the other side...

"Then it's your own fault," Rose shouted, in tears, "for telling me for his last five minutes that you were never going to see me again!" She slammed the door to her room in his face.

"Rose!" the Doctor called. When there was no response he backed across the hall until he was leaning against the opposite wall.

"She's right, you know," said Jackie.

He looked over at her silently, having nothing to say.

"I mean, she gets it," Jackie went on. "She knows you're still the same man. Me too. But that's just in our minds, isn't it? And that bloke with the big ears and the short hair, we're never going to see him again. And to Rose - well, he was almost a father figure to her, wasn't he? And you know how she is about her dad."

The Doctor looked back at the closed door for a moment, then asked, "Have you got a photo album?"

---

He was sitting at the kitchen table when Rose came out, calm and her face re-done. Jackie had gone off on some business of her own. The Doctor continued paging through the photo album silently as Rose got herself a cup of tea and joined him at the table. He waited till she stopped looking at him and looked at the photos, then pointed to one and asked, "How old were you then?"

"That's when I was ten," said Rose. "We went to see Trafalgar Square and I was mad because I couldn't see the statue at the top of the monument."

The Doctor nodded, and turned to the next page. "Here?"

"That's Christmas dinner when I was twelve."

"Where's the bicycle?"

"You don't bring a bicycle to dinner."

"Did you know," said the Doctor, "that all the cells in the human body die and are replaced every seven years?"

"Um. Might've heard that on some BBC learning program."

The Doctor held up the album and pointed to the photo. "Do you mourn this person?"

"What? 'Course not. That's just me, when I was younger."

"You're a completely different person now. Physically, anyway."

"Okay, I see where you're going with this, and it's not the same."

"It is to me," said the Doctor, tapping the photo. "It's just another form of time travel. I did seven years in seven seconds."

"Doctor ..."

The Doctor closed the album and set it down. "Rose, I don't understand what you're feeling. To Time Lords regeneration is - was - as natural as ... as childbirth is to humans. I don't understand why you need to grieve.

"But I can see that you do. Sooo I thought, maybe, you'd like to have this." He reached to his lap and brought out, hidden beneath the table, the leather jacket he'd worn on his previous body, for which Jackie'd directed him to her front closet.

"Oh ..." Rose took the jacket. Tearing up, she held it to her chest, then leaned over to put her arms around the Doctor.

"I hope that helps you feel better," he said as he held her.

"It helps," said Rose into his shoulder. "But I'd still like to stay home till New Year's Day. Before we go off again. Have familiar things around, you know?"

"All right," said the Doctor, not quite successfully keeping from groaning.

Rose let go of him and settled back into her chair, still clutching the jacket close.

Now, as the Doctor trod back to his ship, Jack stood there trying to hide how he felt about the Doctor's forgiveness and grief for a mass murderer. Martha wasn't even trying to hide it. And the Doctor thought, perhaps, finally he understood.

fin

Comments

[truthmaker]

Interesting. Definitely a good well drawn parallel between regeneration and death.

One quibble:
"Then it's your own fault," Rose shouted, in tears, "for telling me his last five minutes that you were never going to see me again!"

I'm having a bit of trouble parsing this line. In my feeble brain there needs to be another word between me and his, possibly in or for.

[scarfman]

Thanks for the suggestion. Implemented.

[purplemonster77.livejournal.com]

Ohh, very, very perceptive. Love how you've split the pyre scene and left its explanation to the end.

[ponderous77.livejournal.com]

Oh, very clever way to frame things! I guess both kinds of grief mentioned here may seem pointless to outsiders, but by couching things in terms of Rose's grief for Nine, it makes the Doctor's grief for the Master more acceptable for me. Cool connection, thanks for this!

[mikadacrazy1.livejournal.com]

Now, as the Doctor trod back to his ship, Jack stood there trying to hide how he felt about the Doctor's forgiveness and grief for a mass murderer. Martha wasn't even trying to hide it. And the Doctor thought, perhaps, finally he understood.

I like this bit. it really stands out because it gives us that insight as to how well the three of them are coping after the Year that Wasn't. I think the reason the Doctor is so quick to forgive the master is because he sees himself only slightly better (after all he did destroy his planet). Jack isn't the type to forgive and forget. and Martha has no compassion for him..

as for the rest of the fic, i love it.. nine will always have a special place in my heart.

Jack

[apokalupsis.livejournal.com]

I think it just takes Jack more time to forgive. And he doesn't forget easily..

a very good fic. thanks.