One Day 1/1; Ten, Martha ; G

[scarfman]

This is my first prose fanfiction since, near as I can tell, May 2005; my first "new Who" prose fanfiction; and the first prose fanfiction posted to LJ that's not a reprint. Also, I hear tell an outgoing officer of SWFA has denounced people who post their pro fiction for free on the internet as "pixel-stained techno peasants", and in response today has been designated a day for the posting of free fiction to the internet by the likes of, e.g., dduane. Timing.

Title: One Day, ...
Author: scarfman
Characters: Doctor Ten, Martha
Setting/Spoilers: through Gridlock
Beta reader: qtrhorserider
Disclaimer: This work is derivative of property of the BBC. No profit shall be made and no market of the owner is infringed upon.
Summary: Everyone's been posting their Martha learns he killed them stories quick before we see Rusty's, so here's mine.

---

"'Somewhere quiet for once'!" said the Doctor triumphantly when the TARDIS' customary rocking ceased.

"Yeah?" said Martha skeptically, still hanging onto the side of the console nearest the doors. After all, the trip to New New York hadn't been meant to be thrilling and dangerous and bloody-near fatal, and look how that had turned out. "Where?"

"Campbellshire!" shouted the Doctor from across the console. "North of England, twenty-second century. Idyllic farmland, through and through."

"How do you know?" Martha tried unsuccessfully to keep her doubt from her voice, not wanting to suffer any more abuse on behalf of whatever failing of her entire species - with one exception - he might decide it represented.

"I don't remember," he said, speaking in announcements like usual again. "Except that I think I've been to this time before. Only, only just before," he added quickly, perhaps through some psychic ability, because this time Martha was about to bring up New New York, "by which I mean only a few months, a year tops, instead of fifty, so there's no chance of whatever I fixed then having gone wrong in an entirely unpredictable, unrelated, and totally not-my-fault manner, such as happened on New New York which I don't have to be psychic to know you were thinking."

By now enough time had passed since the TARDIS had tremored any that Martha felt secure in letting go of the console and moving toward the doors. "Who were you here with?" If it was Rose again she was going to slap him. Probably he'd repeat that he didn't remember, since to all appearances he'd slipped back into "lied 'cos I liked it" mode.

"Susan," he answered as Martha threw the TARDIS doors open. The TARDIS had landed in a farmfield, tall stalks of something a city girl couldn't identify blowing prettily in a light wind. It really was somewhere quiet for once.

Well, Martha thought, if he had forgotten the details perhaps her surprise question had jogged his memory. But her eyes were rolling as she turned back to him: "Oh, who was she then? I thought there was only one human perfect enough to travel with..." She trailed off when she saw him.

The Doctor had on his that's impossible face, but it was deathly pale. "Granddaughter," he stammered. "My granddaughter. The first of you girls. Left her here."

"But ..." The revelations he'd finally shared in Pharmacytown rushed back to Martha, nearly overwhelming her - and if she was overwhelmed, no wonder the usually loquacious Time Lord wasn't even talking in full sentences. "But you said all your people are - You said you're the last." The Doctor nodded mutely. "But the Face of Boe said you're not!" A wonderful idea came to her.

"I killed them," said the Doctor.

At first the words were wholly non-sequitur to Martha. "What?"

"I ended the war. Pressed the button that left me alone."

Oh my god, Martha thought, how horrible - but it only threw her idea into sharp relief. "Susan might be here!" The Doctor gave a little shake of his head. "She might!" Martha blazed on, ignoring what he'd told her about removal from history or his own ability to sense others of his kind. "If you left her here she wasn't a combatant! She might still be here, just like you're here! Come on!!" Martha charged out of the TARDIS.

This, Martha realized, is what time-travel is all about. Seeing wonders. Discovery! Learning new things you'd had no idea existed! In that moment Martha understood the Doctor clearly for the first time: how he could live the life he did for all the centuries he'd lived it, the beautiful horrors and the horrible beauty. Discovery! Learning things!

She was fifty feet off before she realized she didn't know whether it was the right direction, and turned to see that he hadn't followed.

"What are you waiting for!" she cried as she burst back through the TARDIS' open doors. He hadn't moved, but now his head moved side-to-side feebly again. "Your granddaughter could be out here," Martha insisted, and in the resulting silence she finally heard what he wasn't saying: What if she's not?

He'd never been back since the war, Martha realized. He'd even suppressed the memory, until she'd brought it forward by insisting he talk. He'd rather not know.

His face had paled even more. He was sweating, and breathing irregularly. He was about to faint. The Doctor was about to faint at the prospect of learning something.

Martha went to him as quickly but unthreateningly as she could, speaking in her A&E voice. "We won't go out. In a minute we'll set new coordinates and leave. Just sit down." She took him under the arm and moved him to the chair. Then she went to the doors and shut them, and came to sit beside him, taking out her handkerchief and wiping his forehead.

It was many minutes before he spoke. "I told her ..."

After another minute Martha prompted him. "What did you tell her?"

The Doctor's head slowly sank onto her shoulder. "The last thing I said to her was, 'One day, I shall come back.'"

END

Edit Sequel here.

Comments

[the-10thdoctor.livejournal.com]

*cries*

Beautiful.

[larielromeniel.livejournal.com]

Oh, this is wonderful. My heart is breaking for the Doctor.

[ruisseau.livejournal.com]

my knowledge of Old School Who is severely limited. Did One leave Susan there? If so, wow!

But even if not, that was really poignant.

[scarfman]

Spoiler for the very ending of Dalek Invasion of Earth, 1964.

During the serial, set in 22nd-century London (2164?), Susan meets a young man named David Campbell and becomes fond of him. When the action's over he wants her to stay. She insists she can't because her grandfather needs her but, once Ian and Barbara are in the TARDIS, Doctor One locks Susan out, declaring that she won't leave him so he must leave her.

[honorh.livejournal.com]

Oh. Ow. That one hurts so good, poor Doctor. And poor Martha--she keeps stumbling into these wasps' nests in the Doctor's psyche.

[kalleah.livejournal.com]

Heartbreaking. I mean that as such a compliment. It was painfully clear how he looked and felt. I liked your Martha - human and a little irritable at the start but then genuinely compassionate in the end - just what he need. Now go write her for the show! :)

I've touched on a defense mechanism that you use here and can't agree more that it suits the Doctor - the idea that if he never goes back, his companions are never really gone. His breakdown here is when he faces the definitive answer - and knows. That's what I like about Martha here - she sees how devastating it is and tries to protect him from it. You can't cope with everything head on.

Anyway, brilliant. Take a bow.

[jaydeyn-sitari.livejournal.com]

Oh.. that was... really incredibly sad. But good! Thank you for sharing this... even as I go have a little emo moment...

:)
Jaydeyn

[truthmaker]

You sir, are fantastic.

You have managed to work your love of Susan into the new Who in such a way that it is totally in character and believable.

And the ending was just perfect, kalleah was too right above. Until the Time War the Doctor has, with a few notable exceptions, never had to face the death of someone he was close to. Other than Adric and Perri (though that one was later corrected) none of his traveling companions before the Time War died "on camera."

Suddenly he was faced with a situation where he might have to acknowledge that one of his first companions could also have died from his actions. After all he didn't exactly leave her in the best conditions, given the destruction in which he abandoned her one could easily imagine her being dead within the year. No wonder he panicked rather than face the results of his actions.

[sensiblecat.livejournal.com]

Wow, that packed a punch. I had to read it twice for it to sink in completely. Clever to use the big Gallifrey reveal as the sideshow to the deeper problem. Liked your Martha too - very believably a medic, and exactly the mature kind of person he needs around.

Once you let the Doctor love someone, you have to let him grieve, and it'll be fascinating to see where that takes us.

[tree_and_leaf]

Ouch. That was tremendously sad - and I loved Martha slipping automatically into 'dealing with distressed patient' mode.

[silverweave.livejournal.com]

And now I'm thoroughly depressed in that unique and satisfying way that comes from reading good fic.

Nice charactersation and lovely feel to it. *bottom lip quivers*

[dislex1a.livejournal.com]

That was unbelievably poignant. Your Doctor is brilliant, and I think you've got the essence of Martha's character spot on. *sniffs* So, so good.

[drakyndra.livejournal.com]

That was just painful. I mean, wonderfully written, but painful. Because the moment of hope made everything seem oh so much worse. And then when the Doctor actually considers the consequences...

[jo-mako.livejournal.com]

oh now this is how a good emotional fic should be written! bravo dude!

[faith-less-one.livejournal.com]

*bursts into tears*

That was perfect. Just perfect.

[20thcenturyvole.livejournal.com]

Here by way of honorh's rec - that just shredded my heart into little tiny pieces, and I mean that in the best possible way. I've been wanting to read something addressing the issue of Susan since, well, forever, but this is the first one I've seen, and it works so well.

[wendymr.livejournal.com]

Oh, wow. Painful and gorgeous and just right. Martha's great here, slipping into doctor role as she recognises signs of shock and trauma - and her understanding that his greatest fear is that Susan won't be there is just perfect.

So, so good.

[amaresu]

Fantastic. I have much love for this.

[rodlox.livejournal.com]

...
sorry, couldn't talk (and could barely type) for a while after reading that.

the Doctor doesn't have many good options -
- don't go
- go, find out Susan's dead
- go, find Susan alive, she doesn't want anything to do with him

I have to rec this...may I?

thank you for having Martha help the Doctor through that moment of freezing up.