Hidden impact

[scarfman]

compiled from my comments in other journals, mostly doctorwho; so I can link back here and stop typing the same thing over and over

There's a perfectly in-text cause for Rose to have affected the Doctor the way she has (whether it was True Love or not): She was his first companion after the Time War, since which he has been unwilling or unable to keep the distance he used to keep. It's the same in-text cause for his new attachments to companions' families; his is gone. (Plus his companions have stopped being people who have lost their family in his latest adventure. I'm not sure which direction the causality goes on that one; we may have to step outside the text for that. Not that there aren't out-text causes for the other bits too, but there you are.)

It further occurs to me that the Doctor's obsession with the loss of Rose may also be due to a lack of realization that Rose is only part of the loss he suffered, and feels; that he's personifying Rose as the whole of his loss when it's really not just the unique to date loss of Rose but also the unique to date losses of Jackie, Mickie, Pete and even Jake that he's feeling.

It was having found a place in Rose's family (even if that place was the crazy-dangerous boyfriend) that allowed the Doctor to own and move past the pain of the Time War (that, and regenerating out of Post Traumatic Stress Doctor). Then, he lost Rose's family too, which was, emotionally, tantamount to going through the Time War all over again. What the Doctor's feeling which he mistakes for the overwhelming loss of Rose is overwhelming because it isn't just the loss of Rose; it's the loss of her whole family, and by extension the loss of the Time Lords again. He's as damaged as he was in Season 2005 (though probably, hopefully, not for all season) and doesn't properly see why, and that's what Martha's having to put up with.

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Comments

[qtrhorserider.livejournal.com]

It doesn't even have to be that complicated. When it's time to move on to a new lesson horse, even though my pal will still be there at the opposite end of the row, he won't be the horse I'm "dancing" with anymore.

I'm using him as an illustration because there is always the argument that the Doctor isn't human, and doesn't relate to Rose that way. Despite our difference in species, I do have a partnership that I've worked hard to build. I will mourn the loss of the partnership.

It's just like Roxanne (best friend for those who don't know). She anticipates the ends of my sentences, I know what she thinks almost before she does. If I were to lose that partnership, it would be horrible.

I don't need to be in love with my horse or my best friend, although I do love them both, to know that not having them around would hurt me deeply. That is still true even if they are alive and even if the parting was on good terms.

[04nbod.livejournal.com]

Well he mourned the tyler family- of which i include mickey in the runaway bride. 'gone now'

I disagree that we can make excuses for the doctor based on him being alien. The doctor RTD has created is very human. He has human emotions like loss and loneliness why not love. It seems fanboys are using his alienness as a get out of jail free card. They are quick to associate human characteristics of sadness, bravery etc but when it comes to love and especailly rose they bring up the alien argument.
I think you either class his behaviour as alien and unrelatable or accept that he is written as emotionally human across the board

[scarfman]

This isn't meant to be excuses, but an explanation. I'm saying, "Here's why he treats Martha the way he does, and obviously even he doesn't know it;" not, "Get off the Doctor's back for how he's treating Martha!" No judgment on whether Martha should sit back and take it or give him a smack is explicit or should be inferred.

[betawho.livejournal.com]

Part of the reason for that "alien" explanation is that his disinterest in human women as sexual or romantic figures was one of the really subtle but wonderfully wierd things that made him alien.

Yes, the Doctor is very human. He has emotions. But, in order for him to be the character he is there must be something alien to him. Just having two hearts doesn't do it. It's the alien outlook that allows us humans to look at ourselves from a new angle, through his eyes. When he becomes too human, too "just like us" he actually loses the ability to show us ourselves.

We all know we're putzes, but we're used to it. By having someone see the world differently and make different assumptions about it's basic nature it makes us stand back and see things differently for ourselves.

That is a very powerful tool of fiction.

Is it actually true that all people pair off? No. Is it actually true that a man and a woman can't live or work together or be friends without eventually viewing one another in a romantic light. No, of course not.

That's a lesson that is as important to teach kids as the idea that everyone "falls in love." They already know that. They're innundated with that message everywhere they turn in the media.

But it's also important for them to know that people can love without being "in love" so they don't confuse the two. Just because you love someone doesn't mean you are automatically "in love" with them.

That's why I always dislike the idea of the Doctor being "in love." Not because there's anything wrong with it. Simply because he is in a position to be able to teach all the other kinds of love. Not just the sex dependent kinds.

By being alien, and having a different outlook on love, he makes people review their own ideas, and perhaps see more possibilities and joy in the world.

The Doctor is no less relatable or human if he just loves his friends. I've never understood why having a romance is supposed to be more real than having a best friend.

Besides, how often can they repeat him "falling in love" before it makes him seem sleazy or fickle?

Yet he can have best friends endlessly.