#ThingsJesusNeverSaid

[scarfman]

Happened on a choice Twitter hashtag to vent my insomnia on.

• Hey, I told him to sell all his stuff and he didn't do it! Make him do what I said!
• Make disciples of all nations. Everyone in all the nations. Everyone. Make it the law.
• Marriage is between a man and a woman.
• Bankers and merchants are really cool and deserve all the things.
• Also, the poor don't deserve that oil. They don't deserve nice things. They're all lazy moochers.
• Mike Pence is really on the ball and I like what he's doing.
• Life begins at conception, instead of with the first breath like all the scriptures on the subject say.
• Kill all the darkskinned people. Except me. Aw, what the hell, me too.