- Tue, 14:40: Not only have I maintained my one-update buffer at 3Faces today, I have built a one-update buffer for Creative Process.
- Tue, 17:57: State tax refund showed up in my bank balance today. Figure it's a Valentine's Day present from my late wife.
- Tue, 18:24: Hero of Three Faces update: imported yesterday's from my first site to import this one. https://t.co/YB2b07Wtmk #buffythevampireslayer #btvs
- Wed, 10:42: lots of post nasal drip today
- Wed, 10:43: woke me ten minutes before the alarm
- Thu, 17:56: When I was single I always ordered my McDonalds cheeseburgers plain.
- Thu, 17:57: My best friend got mad at me once because that's a special order and takes longer.
- Thu, 17:59: Once I was married, sometimes we'd be in a rush and I'd order my cheeseburgers regular. I'd give my wife the pickles as the only bits I a...
- Thu, 17:59: She liked pickles.
- Thu, 18:00: In latter years even when I odered
- Thu, 18:00: my cheeseburgers plain, I'd ord err
- Thu, 18:01: order them pickles only and give her the pickles.
- Thu, 18:02: Nowadays I've found that everything but pickles is my new favorite.
- Thu, 19:04: Hero of Three Faces update: sometimes the dialogue tells you who delivers it. https://t.co/aL56k3Q9qO #mash
- Fri, 05:19: Creative Process update: prayer. https://t.co/rFQK9eMpDh #webcomics #CreativeProcess
Today it’s two years since my wife passed away. Last time I wrote about this was to say that I was disappointed at how little the Doctor Who Christmas special affected me, but then the second time I watched it… I’ve felt differently about her loss at different times in the time since, and I guess that’s how it’s going to be till I see her again (outside of dreams). My mother asked whether I was doing something special and suggested I ought to do something Leah would want me to enjoy, so I’ll be seeing Ghostbusters and Star Trek Beyond the third time each. Then I’ll come home and watch The Doctor’s Wife because that’s what I’ve reached in my rewatch anyway.
Today is also the traditional date for The Hero of Three Faces to come off its annual summer hiatus so, if there hasn’t been enough never-before-seen MSPaint Doctor Who panel cartoon fan art in your life lately, go check it out.
The character River Song on Doctor Who, the Doctor's so-called wife, was a recurring character during the years my wife was ill. She discovered the lump between the crash of the Byzantium and the opening of the Pandorica, and the second-to-last Doctor Who she saw was when the Doctor and River said goodbye. Listening to the soundtrack music I have for those years is something I do for the melancholy. So when it was announced River was being brought back for this year's Christmas special, for me that meant a story about my biggest hero getting one last visit with his wife long after their time together was done. In the event it was not as hard to watch as I thought it might be; and that disappoints me.
(I said I'd label grief posts from now on but this one's about not knowing whether something's grief or status quo.)
So after listening to the top hits station again for a week*, I returned to the eighties-till-now station this morning because top hits wouldn't come in on the desk radio. The eighties-till-now station, mind you, is the one I initially discovered because it's the, or a, station in town that plays Christmas songs all month from Thanksgiving. Except, I discovered this morning, they implement Christmas carols not Thanksgiving day but Thanksgiving week. I've been guessing, this being the second holiday season after she went, that this is when I'm going to find out what holiday seasons are going to be like from here on out. I won't know for sure till the third time, really, but I wasn't expecting to start gathering data till Thursday.
* And being taken aback at how much the playlist has changed while I was away for a few months. Classic rock stations don't do that.
- Sun, 20:40: You know, while I appreciate them, I don't need expressions of concern every time I mention my wife... https://t.co/ItDmCChMST
- Sun, 21:13: Nngh. That's right, the time change was this morning. The other oven is the accurate one now.
- Sun, 21:17: Can you imagine if people got into ship-war style fights about normal things? Like what flavor of cake you... https://t.co/HDZE7Jvq8p
There was one person who offered condolences this week because she hadn’t seen any post about it until now, and that’s fair. If you find out someone’s got married while you were away you say congratulations. But once. When someone’s stopped being married you don’t need to offer condolences every time they mention it.
There is a melancholy that’s never going to go away and sometimes I post about that, yes, like that LJ post earlier this week about other LJ posts about losses. But sometimes mentioning it in a post is just housekeeping, like that post about Netflix M*A*S*H earlier this week. Any melancholy in that post was more about watching M*A*S*H since 1974 than it was about being married a long time and then not.
Thanks for your sympathy, honestly, but let’s try something: from now on when it’s a grief post I’ll say so up front.
- Sat, 13:45: Here's something weird: The last two times I've had more'n one serving of chocolate milk within a few hours it's come back up.
- Sat, 16:00: Photo: More handdrawn triangle sketches. I like to say I don’t ship Doctor/Rose but the Doctor and Rose... http://t.co/PZhLuYDUYx
- Sun, 09:22: Integration Was One of The Worst Things To Ever Happen To Black People. http://t.co/3NNgBAEqt7
Visiting my in-laws this weekend. They're getting on in years and not getting around so well. They hobble along after each other, putting dinner on or something, squabbling mildy. I watch them and I'm thinking: this is what my wife was looking forward to for us, that the cancer took away. It's good to see others having it.
Monday it's one year. And, I learned today, my in-laws' 58th wedding anniversary.
Today I miss AKOTAS enough to wonder how the spreadsheet formulas would have to be updated.
There are all those years I skipped over.
The trick may be to get enough distance from AKOTAS so that writing it feels like writing fanfiction.
In the 90s I did that with Dailies characters from the 80s.
And/or start another side blog at Tumblr.
thinking about starting another side blog, for artistic nudes thinking about starting a side blog for... http://tmblr.co/ZO40Ou1j0Uo5q
Reviving AKOTAS as daily gags again is an attractive prospect (assuming any revival), but today I'm thinking no, better some new format.
On the other hand, tryna do AKOTAS as a novel only reminded me that gag panels are my best thing. Hmm.
Forty years of tv storytelling progress: Meredith Grey throws up on camera when B.J. Hunnicutt hadda turn his back.
Reddington pulls out all his IV tubes and I think, "There are no strings on me"
Photoset: unite4humanity: Watch the Baltimore Police LIE and get called out by a reporter for The... http://tmblr.co/ZO40Ou1jdlrxQ
Did Star Trek invent the trope where Jack the Ripper is something bodiless that possesses someone new every... http://tmblr.co/ZO40Ou1jsu8p2
The new associate pastor's first sermon quoted Tolkien and amounted to, "We're all stories in the end."
Steve did not expect the hammer would move. Once he realized it was going to move, however, his reflexes... http://tmblr.co/ZO40Ou1kDtRWo
I believe if you’re disappointed in a STAR WARS movie that has lightsaber battles and speedy piloted flying... http://tmblr.co/ZO40Ou1kMdzxm
These are my first vanilla zingers since my wife died. #runningoutoffirsts